The End

Beware of the man who does not return your blow: he neither forgives you nor allows you to forgive yourself.

-George Bernard Shaw

I have asked for forgiveness and yet it was misunderstood. Your hate towards me has made you inadmissible. I would neither complain nor defend myself because it was I who was stupid and guilty of making your life miserable before. The last time I asked sorry was the most sincere by far and it does not encompass the years when I was so naïve and have no control with what I was doing. The forgiveness I was asking was for the incident last summer. Yes, it was not I who started it, but triggering you to act violently was my deed. But to this day, I know that I was innocent to your accusations. Nevertheless, I have certain points that I would like to argue but it would not be wise if I do so. I learned that out of respect to your feelings, I would stay calm and not be overwhelmed by the things you have said recently.

I guess I should warn you. If I turn out to be particularly clear, you've probably misunderstood what I've said.

-Alan Greenspan

I hope that everything is clear to you. Please don’t take this as an opposition to you but as an end to every stupid thing that I have done. It is also not another apology.

Ciao!

Pinoy Wannabees

i just would like to share my reaction paper and analysis in my PanPIL17 class. The papers are about the play i watched 10 months ago. it's kind of late but it was a really good play.

Ang Pinoy Wannabees ay binubuo ng mga dula na nakapaloob sa isang dula na tumatalakay sa mga ilang issue na hinaharap ng ating lipunan ngayon. Kung gagamitin ang Marxism upang suriin ang parteng may family reunion, makikita na taliwas ang mga trabaho ng magkapatid sa ibang bansa sa kanilang mga natapos na kurso sa kolehiyo dito sa Pilipinas. Dahil malaki ang kita sa pagiging caregiver sa ibang bansa kaysa sa pagiging isang dentista o isang surgeon, ang magkapatid ay mas pinili ang pagiging caregiver upang matugunan ang pangangailangan ng kanilang pamilya. Ang pagiging caregiver sa ating panahon ngayon ay naging patok, dahil sa mabilis na ang proseso ay magkakaroon pa ng instant na trabaho sa ibang bansa. Iyan ay kung hindi illegal ang caregiver school o agency na napasukan. Ang mga caregiver schools o pagiging caregiver ngayon ay napabilang na sa kulturang popular dahil sa maraming mga tao ang tumatangkilik dito. Naging sistema na sa Pilipinas ang pag-eenrol sa mga caregiver schools ng mga taong gusto o desperadong makapunta sa ibang bansa. Sa isang parte rin ng dula ay makikita na ang ginawang solusyon ng mag-anak sa kanilang mga problema ay pagpunta sa ibang bansa upang maging caregiver. Kahirapan din ang dahilan ng lalaki doon sa isang parte ng dula kung saan may dalawang Pinoy na gustong makapunta sa ibang bansa. Dahil nga naman mahirap ang buhay dito sa Pilipinas ay ginagawang solusyon ang pagpunta sa ibang bansa upang maiahon ang pamilya sa kahirapan. Makikita rin sa dula ang issue ng feminism. Ito ay evident sa parteng may isang babaeng nagpapahayag ng kanyang mga suliranin gamit ang pagmomonologue. Kaniyang isiniwalat ang pisikal na pang-aabuso ng kanyang asawa sa kaniya. Inilahad din niya na dahil hindi sapat ang kinikita ng kaniyang asawa ay kinailangan niyang mag doble kayod upang matugunan lamang ang pangangailangan ng kaniyang mga anak kahit hindi niya responsibilidad ang pagtatrabaho. Sa parteng iyon ng dula ay binibigyan diin ang paghihirap ng isang ina na dulot nang opresyon sa kababaihan. Ang issue ng sex, gender at sekswalidad ay makikita rin sa dula. Makikita ang issueng ito sa parte kung saan makikita ang isang lalake na umibig sa kaniyang kapwa lalake. Kahit sila ay biological na ipinanganak na isang lalake ay mas pinili nilang maging asal babae. Kitang kita na sa kabila ng pagkakaroon nila ng penis ay lumalabas pa rin ang kanilang femininity. Ang isa sa kanila ay ganap na homosexual ngunit ang isa naman ay pagdating sa France ay nakakita ng isang dilag na sa kalaunan ay dinala niya sa Pilipinas. Sa kabila ng kanilang pagproject ng kanilang femininity naging sexual preference parin ng isa ay ang both sexes samantalang ang isa ay sa parehong sex lamang. Merong din isang eksena sa parte ng family reunion kung saan ang isa sa mga magkakapatid ay isang bakla. Hindi ito tanggap ng kuya niya na galing sa ibang bansa. Ito ay kanyang nilait dahil sa kanyang katauhan. Makikita lamang na hindi pa lubusang tanggap ng ating lipunan ang mga taong nabibilang sa tinatawag na ikatlong kasarian. Sa pangkalahatan, ang Pinoy Wannabees ay isa lamang sa mga dula na tumutuligsa sa paghahari ng dominant class sa ating lipunan. Maaaring layon nito na imulat ang mga tao sa mga issue na kinakaharap ng lipunan ngayon. Maaaring hindi tayong lahat ang naaapektuhan sa mga issue na nakikita sa dula, ngunit hindi ito dahilan upang tayo’y magsawalang kibo lamang at manatiling tahimik habang ang iilan sa ating kababayan ay naaapektuhan ng mga issue.

Inter-textual Analysis ng dulang Pinoy Wannabees at show na Pinoy Abroad

Sa ginawang panghahambing ng Pinoy Wannabees at Pinoy Abroad, naging basehan ang una dahil ito ang aking unang napanood. Parehong tungkol sa Overseas Filipino Workers ang tema ng dalawang palabas. Pinapakita rin sa dalawang palabas na ang sanhi ng pagpunta ng mga tauhan sa ibang bansa ay kahirapan. Ang mga tauhan sa parehong palabos ay silang mga nangarap na maiahon ang kanilang mga pamilya sa kahirapan. Ngunit ang pagkakaiba nila ay ang Pinoy Wannabees ay talagang tinatalakay ang mga problema ng lipunan ukol sa mga OFW’s. Ang pagtalakay sa mga issue sa Pinoy Wannabees ay hindi lamang na maituturing na skin deep lamang hindi katulad ng sa Pinoy Abroad. Ang pokus lamang ng sa Pinoy Abroad ay maipakita na merong mga Pilipino sa ibang bansa na nagtatrabaho. Kapansin pansin din na sa unang bahagi ng palabas ay pinapakita ang mga magagandang tanawin o ang kagandahan ng bansa. Parang naging daan ang palabas upang pausbungin ang turismo sa ibang bansa. Sa huli pa ng palabas ay tinuturuan ang mga manonood kung paano makapunta sa ibang bansa ng mas madali. Ang mga segment na para sa mga OFW ay maituturing na hegemonic kasi hindi gaaanong pinapakita ang mga disadvantages ng pagiging isang OFW. Pinapakita lamang ng show na nakakabuti sa mga mamamayan ang pagpunta sa abroad. Pinapakita lang nito ang mga magagandang mga bagay ng pagiging isang OFW para na rin kumita ang show. Maaring magkaroon ang mga tao ng false consciousness na pag nasa ibang bansa ay malaki ang kita na siyempre totoo ngunit itinatago ang mga disadvantages. Maaring mapilitan ang tao na magkaroon ng ibang trabaho sa ibang bansa na hindi naman niya linya o gusto. Samantala, ang Pinoy Wannabees ay hindi lamang tumatalakay sa iisang issue na kinakaharap ng mga OFW’s ngunit mula sa issue ng sekswalidad hanggang sa issue na pampamilya. Isinisiwalat ng dula ang mga mga magagandang dulot ng pagiging isang OFW ngunit hindi rin nito tinatago ang mga disadvantages. Hindi one sided ang pagtalakay ng dula sa mga issue ng mga OFW’s. inilalapat nito ang lahat ng mga puwedeng sitwasyon ngunit hindi nagbibigay ng kasagutan na ang manonood lamang ang maaaring makapagbigay. Walang takot nitong pinaparating ang mga paghihirap ng mga gusto o sa kasalukuyan ay mga OFW.

Sa pangkalahatan, ang show na Pinoy Abroad ay isang paraan ng dominant class upang gawing kaaya-aya ang labas ng pagiging isang OFW. Tinatago nito ang maaaring pangit na maidudulot nito sa mga tao. Samantala, ang dulang Pinoy Wannabees ang siyang nagmumulat sa tao kung ano talaga an gibing sabihin ng pagiging isang OFW.

Medicine Isn't Really My Thing

i have been reading kevin's blog when i realized how bad my writing was. i mean, i am no writer but then again here i am trying hard to post something. nonetheless, i would try again in my post today.

in my last post i have said that at certain points in my college life i considered shifting to a medical course. honestly, it was not in my plan to take up a business course but i thought that i was destined to take up business economics no matter what.

when i was in high school, we were sorted in our third year to sections that were related to the course that we planned to take up in college. we call this system of sorting, tracking:

Physical Science Track- students who are math and techno freaks. they are the ones planning to take up engineering courses

Liberal Arts and Commerce Track - students who are good in english and are business oriented. they are the ones planning to take up business courses

Medical Science Track - the section for students who like memorizing. they are good in biology and are mostly interested in taking up nursing and of course medicine

Before entering one of these sections we would have to answer an exam and a survey. it doesn't mean that you like a ceratain track means you are automatically admitted. The exam would determine if you were a rightful student in the chosen track. normally, students who do not do well in the exam end up in the liberal arts and commerce since the qualification grade for the medical and physical science tracks was high. also, the section for the two tracks are limited unlike the liberal arts and commerce.

Anyway, i chose to be in the medical science and thank god i was admitted. I was really into taking up any medical course because i thought i was routing to med school and specialize in internal medicine. But then again i was damn wrong. I took up human anatomy and ended up not using it my college life. All were expecting me to write nursing as my first choice in my UPCAT form. Yes, i wrote nursing but erased it and ended up writing business economics. None of my teachers knew I wrote business economics and up until the results were released they were cluless. Only my friends and mom knew my decision. My mom ask me why I changed my mind and I instantly tolf her that all my friends are in diliman and none of them were planning to study in manila.

To cut the long story short, I passed diliman and took up business economics. When i told my teachers that i would be studying in diliman they were pleased but their smile faded when I told them I will be taking up a business course. They bombarded me with questions like why I didn't choose nursing and the like. I had no definite answer because I myself don't know the answer. My anatomy teacher to this day still asks my why i did not take up a medical course. She even told me once "sayang ing excellence in anatomy mu". I just smiled at her until now.

Now i have come to realize that I am really destined to take up a business course. I started liking business economics when I took up the first two major subjects. I never thought that I would enjoy exchange rates, balance of payments, david ricardo and his ricardian equivalence. Now i can proudly say that business is really my thing. medicine right now is just the last thing on my mind.

That's it for now! Arrivderci!
Have faith!

It's About Time

I’m back! I’m not really a writer so it’s very hard for me to think of a topic. It has been a burden for me in all my English classes to think of topics for a certain term paper or a simple essay. Anyway, I have been reading my last post in my friendster blog and it has been ages since I wrote something. And now I think it’s about time to write something.

It’s already the second semester and nothing has changed much (generally speaking). I’m still wining how hard my subjects are. One of my housemates even got irritated with me and told me that my subjects are not that hard. Well, I still think my subjects are hard enough to make my nose bleed. But as they say, something will be hard for a person if that person does not like what he’s doing. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t like my course, in fact I really love Business Economics even though at certain points I wanted to shift to a medical course (well that’s a different topic). It’s just I’m the one making my life as a student hard. If I were really into studying my lessons and not cram studying for exams, then I think I would do well. Yes, there are students (some of them brag it so much) who do well in exams even though they don’t study very hard. I’m not one of them anymore. The last time I got e very high grade without even studying was in high school. And now that I’m in college, I don’t get those high grades the way I do. I really have to study very hard in order to get the top mark for an exam. But I think that a night without sleep pays off when you see a good result in the exam. And now, I really hope that I can make this semester right. I hope this semester will be alright.

Well that’s it for now. Ciao! Arrividerci!